Monsters Inc.
By Emilsk Von Palmovor
Monsters Inc. is like the 'scary' horror film without the amusingly poor special effects and with more impressive characters. Monsters Inc. is the tale of large fluffy creatures with claws and tails that find a human girl. It is obvious that the large fluffy creatures are just as stupefying unintelligent as the human race as they are terrified of a three-year-old. Silly really when you think about it, we're scared of them, they're scared of us, and so we scream and they think we're screaming at them in an aggressive manner so they scream, and so on and so on. Anyway, they go into wardrobes and come out of our wardrobes and we think they must have gone in our wardrobes, but they didn't, they only came out of them! All terribly confusing, especially if you're a five-year-old, in which case you're probably still thinking about how petrifying these great fluffy creature are.
So out of the wardrobes they come, to scare us so we scream, then they scream and run back out again, all the while collecting energy to power their light-bulbs and cities. To be honest, I think that Powergen could learn a thing or two from these monsters, seeing as their electrical systems are clearly far more efficient and conserve far more energy, which is all good in the long-run. So then there's this lizard feller who is not fluffy at all, but he does have claws and a tail. He is obviously going to go on to do great things as he invents this machine that gets maximum energy input from a source - which provides more energy for the people. Dead clever, considerate member of the community I thought, but apparently not.
All of this drama is then followed by a speeding chase through a warehouse (of doors?!) with a few visits to Hollywood's oldest stars (cameo rolling The Abominable Snowman and Big Foot) in a scream worthy (ha) film that inspires us all to check twice under the bed, and now once in the wardrobe, before going to sleep at night. It's superb animations slap lipstick and clown's noses on all other animated features so far produced, and there's variety that not even Miss It-Girl could turn her nose up at - there's comedy, horror, thriller, heart-rending tearful moments, and for the Andrew-Lloyd Webber's among you, musical numbers that throw sticks at the West-End.
All in all, put down that broomstick Cinderella, and chuck us a cushion (to hide behind), a box of tissues and a bed-pan, and let's relax into the colourful world behind closed (wardrobe) doors.